Passion

*Non-EVE Post*

A mate of mine asked about my plans over the next couple of weeks. I said I needed to try and fit in another Duck Hunt before the season ends, and that I had only gotten out twice this year. He said that was a pity, as he knew it was one of my passions in life.

I’d forgotten that it was.

I loved getting out into the country side hunting and fishing, but now it is something I can barely squeeze into my schedule. I was passionate about the modified car scene for years, but now I don’t even glance sideways at the note of a nice exhaust. I used to be an avid reader, but I looked at a decade old photo of my study the other day and realised my pile of books to read haven’t shifted in all that time. Photography, Role Playing Games, I’ve even been contemplating giving up EVE as I just can’t find the time to do anything worthwhile in it.

How did that happen?

I continually put effort into the relationship I have with my wife. I’m a reasonable father to a pair of somewhat difficult kids. I do more than my fair share around the house. I have become a better person than what I was 20 years ago. Why has the price of that turned out to be the things I was passionate about?

I guess the obvious answer is to be passionate about my wife and kids. I love them dearly, but frankly if I said to my wife I was going to be more passionate in our relationship her response would be “no you’re not”. The kids would also be most put out if I asked them to put aside their screens to spend more quality time with me. I guess I could turn into one of those obsessive compulsive house cleaners. My wife might agree with that option.

Alternatively maybe I should just stop chatting to my mate.

3 thoughts on “Passion

  1. Other people are the most consumptive thing of your time. You’re not supposed to say that, think that, or feel that but it is true.

    My mother is staying with us. My husband is out of town as he often is. It used to mean that I could come home and just lay around, feed myself whatever and be done with it. I feel obligated to my mother to continue to cook complex and interesting meals every night. I don’t want her to cook because I don’t like what she makes. It is also to far outside of my politeness to walk in the house and not cook for the other person there. It doubles if not triples the amount of time.

    People are a time sink and they often take of that time easily. But, how much time are they entitled to? You can loose your soul in it and that only makes you a miserable person. My biggest problem with my husband was that he will take and I will give until he leaves me rung out and bitter. We had to learn to develop a better give a take method. One of those things is having personal hobbies and family hobbies. Its hard and it has no hard limits and must be willing to change with the situation.

    • It is not easy balancing how much time you keep for yourself, give to others, and take from others. Even if you have it right, you can’t rest on your laurels as the equilibrium changes with time.

      A couple of years ago I had inadvertently let the time equation in my marriage fall too much into my own favour. I’ve probably gone too far in redressing that – which I guess could be viewed as Karma.

      I’m not sure how, or to just what extent I need to re-balance that. Giving up on my passions though would not be the right way to go.

      Thanks for your comment Sugar – thought provoking as always.

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