Proof Reading

While I make an effort with my writing here on the blog, I am not a natural wordsmith.

I have a very large document on my PC (290 pages / 72,510 words as of a minute ago) that contains all my blog notes.  There are post ideas, game play notes, rule change notes, and a very large number of draft posts, most of which won’t ever see the light of day.

I will often draft and redraft a post multiple times across a couple of days.  If it reaches a solid enough state I make an effort to finish it off.  When I am finally happy enough with it I will read it out aloud (or more often quietly under my breath) to try and pick up any last mistakes.  I will then cut and paste the entry into WordPress, where I will add any media, ensure the links are configured, and do one more read.  When happy with all that I will hit publish, then immediately read the uploaded post.  After, I remove the post from my document, and finally do one last check read when the post happens into my RSS Reader.

I don’t do this because I love to read what I write.  In part I take care because obvious spelling and grammatical mistakes distract from whatever message you are trying to convey.  In part it is because I take a bit of pride in my work.  In part it relates to those Anxieties I mentioned in my last post, not wanting to embarrass myself too much I guess.

Despite my care, I can not tell you how often I find obvious mistakes after I have published a post!  Tonight one of them was using the term peripherals instead of peripheries in the last post.

Some days however, I will see an obvious mistake after I have published a post and think – fuck it – the mistake stays.

I am not sure how many mistakes will be in this post – it went straight into WordPress.  To amuse myself I won’t correct any after I hit publish.

(Also, I won’t post any more today.. not sure what came over me.)

Never Empty

I am sure I have mentioned before that I have Anxiety. Not the anxiety that almost everyone has – that one that reduces unnecessary death through a healthy level of caution and fear, but the unhealthy Anxiety with a capital A.

It is a condition I am well aware of. I’ve watched its notable impact on my father’s life, am keenly aware of how it influences me, and have had both my children diagnosed with it, one who has already had years of ongoing treatment.

It is not an official term, but I probably most comfortably fit into a category of having High-Functioning Social Anxiety. Being a hermit is a little more than just a choice.

One aspect of my Anxiety is that my mind is always racing. To be honest I thought it was normal, but I remember being quite surprised when I first learnt my wife was able to sit with a completely empty mind and think of nothing. I see from the chatter of some of my “alternative’ Facebook acquaintances that having a truly empty mind is a thing. It sounds relaxing.

The problem with an ever-busy anxious mind is that unchecked it can both get very tiring, and run you off in what can become very unhealthy directions. As such you have to make a point of giving your mind downtime, and trying to moderate what fills it.

EVE has long played a role in being part of my self-medicating tool box for Anxiety. I could get caught up in hauling, or trading goods, or running missions, or mining, or trying out new ship fittings – which required enough effort to push out all other thoughts, while not being particularly taxing of themselves. Sure, you had to be careful to avoid the drama at times and be aware of other players, but it wasn’t that difficult. It is not technically having an empty mind, but it worked as such for me.

I understand and accept my reduced interest in EVE. It is just the reality of unchanged mechanics having a finite lifespan for holding your attention. Almost all of us will have a point where the repetitive stops being comfortable and starts to turn unpleasant. I really can’t complain about how long a run I did get from EVE. I, and my Anxiety, are however missing the EVE downtime.

I haven’t really found its replacement as yet. The closest tends to be watching YouTube clips of people sailing around the world.

While I still wait around in the peripheries for game changes to enthuse me, I wonder if EVE will ever truly provide the same sort of mind downtime as it did in the past. The vibe of the game just seems more hostile. CCP might be pleased to hear this, given their conflict focus, but EVE doesn’t feel as relaxed and distracting as it used to. People seem far more inclined to grief, troll, preach. In the old days, I’d regularly notice chatter in local, most of it pleasant. Now, the rare time I see chatter outside of the trade hubs, it is generally unpleasant.  A consequence maybe of having so many long term players?  Just a reflection of life in general?  Maybe I just need to move further away from Jita.


Maybe more Strategic

The changes to the Strategic Cruisers are interesting.

One of the standard setups I have spent plenty of time on in the past have been probing / cloaking hulls with tackle and an attempt at DPS and Tank. They were geared towards solo day trips through Wormhole Space. I found it took a lot of effort to get past their drawbacks and make these somewhat workable, particularly without spending a lot of ISK on them.

The new subsystems make it far easier to do a Probe / Cloak / Tackle / DPS / EW hunting ship, that appear on paper to be quite workable. Tank can tend to be a problem on some of the hulls, as are slots for weapon upgrades. As CCP’s documentation suggests however, you are meant to overheat to get some of these areas up to par.

The first draft fit across the four racial ships sees the following basic stats, all with Expanded Probe Launcher, Covert Ops Cloak, Boosted AB, tackle and an initial mostly T2 fit:

Loki – 62K EHP (Shield), 619 DPS (Auto Canon / Drones / Light Missile), Sensor Booster
Legion – 53K EHP (Armor), Ancillary Repairer, 434 DPS (Beam), Neut, Sensor Booster
Tengu – 31K EHP (Armor), 382 DPS (Blaster), 3xECM, Sensor Booster
Proteus – 26K EHP (Armor), Repairer, 531 DPS (Drone / Rail)

On paper, they are all better than the old T3 versions. The Loki and Legion in particular stand out as very workable for what I want. I will have to do several more drafts, adding faction gear and looking at replacing the boosted AB with MWD and the Interdiction Nullifier subsystem.  I skipped that on the first draft as it tended to have a very big impact on tank.  My Loki for example went from cap stable / 932ms overheated / 62K EHP; to 6 minutes cap / 1,996ms overheated / 35K EHP.

Nice to have EVE providing some relaxed distraction again – even if it hasn’t been undocked, or even logged in for that matter.