In my first post on this blog back on January 16, 2011, I remarked:
“I find myself a little aimless, but not ready to mothball my ships. To help focus my attention, I plan to blog about goals, thoughts, and observations around the game.”
The blog has subsequently helped direct my play, possibility feeding into my Solo game a similar influence that people’s corporations or alliances might. It worked for a decade.
Over the next 1,180+ posts there have been three other underlying themes which crop up.
The first was that I don’t really enjoy social and competitive online games. I try to play them however to help combat my natural inclination towards being a hermit. The older I have gotten, the harder that is.
The second was that my life is impacted by anxiety, but that EVE offered up a cathartic distraction and downtime for my mind away from Real Life.
And third, hopefully without oversharing, was how Real Life intrinsically impacts on my EVE play. In that way I have tried to mimic the example of other bloggers I have followed over the years – in how they humanize the EVE player and attempt to remind us of the complex nuances behind the actions and behaviours in game.
All EVE players are linked like that – motivations to play, benefits, costs, and an ever-present influence of their real life.
My life is currently far busier than I could have imagined dealing with. This year in particular has belittled my attempts to maintain a semblance of balance. I can’t say I am terribly happy about it, but I have not been overwhelmed, and am managing to maintain a glass half full instead of half empty mindset.
I do however miss EVE. Not so much the game itself – I log in occasionally to spin a ship. I miss its old ability to steal my mind away from the busyness and stress of real life. The escape. I blame CCP in part for this. Their focus on making people play EVE the way their statistics suggest earns them the most money. I have tried replacing the gap it has left – but so far have not found anything.